Tag Archives: January Jones

The Carpetbagger’s Weekly Case Studies

Lea Michele

Major improvement from last week!  Just lovely Lea!  A girl can never go wrong with fresh, crisp white in Springtime!

Heather Morris

Frankly, I’m a little scared.  Did Britney S. Pierce or Heather Morris pick this look?!  Very often girls get an idea and sort of run in the wrong direction with it, but it still tends to make some sense as you can typically see where they’re trying to go.  But I couldn’t be more lost here.  She’s just sending soo many mixed messages!  Her footwear says chic/quirky schoolgirl; Her middle area says K Mart hippie;  the top says 13 year old girl at dance class, and her tacky hair says yearbook picture circa 1992!  Someone give this girl a towel.

Ellie Kemper in Naeem Khan

First things first, this dress kicks some serious ass!  With that said, I would have definitely done it up on the accessories side of things.  Just can’t help but feel that this look is lacking a little pizazz.  The tribal inspired print is rad, not too mention the impecible fit of this classic cocktail dress.  Though I can’t help but feel something maybe missing… design and tailoring aside, this ensemble is a little too beige all on it’s own.  Bring in a lavish beaded  statement necklace in a boldy saturated hue, a strong  brass cuff, even a pair of chandelier earrings, and this ensemble would up the ante.  Still totally cute look and a pleasant surprise for an actress who isn’t your typical fashionista.

January Jones in Mary Katrantzou

Honestly January, talk about inconsistency!  One day you look like a total trainwreck (have a particular potato sack dress in mind), the next you’re in a total show stopper!  Prints master Mary Katrantzou on the red carpet?  Yes please!  However, if I had the chance to wear this wickedly talented designer’s work to an event, I don’t that I would go with this black and white choice.

Mary Katrantzou, Fall 2011

Compared to Katrantzou’s other masterpieces this dress is rather on the quiet side, but hey it’s baby steps.  Plus, I see a smidgen of January’s insecurity peaking out, probably due to walking on the wilder side of fashion, so had this been a more traditional Mary Katrantzou (which isn’t the least bit traditional), the actress may  appear completely overwhelmed.  Wonder what January will put herself in next, anyone’s guess is as good as mine!


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Carpetbagger’s Weekly Case Studies

Jaime King in Prabal Gurung

GIRL CRUSH ALERT! Jaime King is an absolute dream in this adorable getup! This button-down and shorts number is the epitome of sweet Spring style. Everything from that lovely shade of blue, to the painterly blouse to her shiny golden locks has me dreaming of cotton candy and care bears! One look at the cute model/actress in this Prabal Gurung, and I’m positively smitten!

January Jones in YSL

Even the best fashion houses can make mistakes.  No offense, YSL, but wtf?!  January, did you just convert to Orthodox Judaism?  This dress reads mother of the bar mitzvah boy. Don’t think she could look worse if she tried.

Kim Kardashian

Another disaster, but this one is far less shocking.  In fact, isn’t this what we really expect from ever so humble (sense the sarcasm) Kim Kardashian?  I don’t know who she thinks she is in this dress… Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell?  I mean let’s get real here-I’m all for flaunting your curves and being proud to not just be another Hollywood stick figure, but THIS sure as the ain’t the way to go, Kimmy.  The curve hugging stripes add, oh about 30 lbs to her already well endowed frame.  I’m guessing as she was getting dressed her team of pamperers and entourage felt the need to kiss some big K ass and were all “Oh Kim you look so hot!  No, of course you don’t look sleazy and positively ridiculous!”

Brooklyn Decker in Theysken's Theory Slip Dress, Isabel Marant Blazer, and Christian Loubitons

Supermodel Brooklyn Decker can’t help but smile in this Isabel Marant jacket, but who can blame the girl?!  What an awesome statement piece that will last a lifetime.  Granted it’s pretty bold and definitely not for the everyday hum drum proper girl, who wants to blend in?  All I know is if I had this sweet jacket, I’d wear it feeling like a rock star!  Brooklyn was smart to pair it with a simple white slip dress and let the focus stay on that show stopper of a jacket.  The clear and red cap-toed Loubitons add the perfect dash of sex appeal.  Props to Brooklyn!  Can’t wait to see what she has in store for more Spring fashion!

Kim Kardashian

No comparison!  Both dresses worn by Kim K this week were black and white with stripes,but oh boy, they couldn’t have been more different.  This is so much better, not to mention appropriate.  The silhouette is perfect for Kim’s curvy figure, showing them off beautifully and ladylike, rather than frankly quite whorish, and 3 sizes too small looking.  She shows that she doesn’t have to bare all in a low cut, cleavage flashing neckline and actually is capable of going with something tasteful and flattering.  Much, much better Kim!

So my first guess was that this is a pic of D.J. Tanner.  Then I remembered this is the real world, and not 1989.  Then I realized it’s Fergie, and feel the need to throw her a towel, just so she has something to cover herself up with.  There is no excuse for this joke of an outfit.  I think I may see where she was trying to go, (badass girl/tomboy cute) but she sure as hell didn’t get there. There’s just no way around it, the outfit is plain and ugly.  I do have faith she’ll do better next time, but sorry Fergie, there’s no redeeming this mess.

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