Carpetbagger’s Weekly Case Studies

Jaime King in Prabal Gurung

GIRL CRUSH ALERT! Jaime King is an absolute dream in this adorable getup! This button-down and shorts number is the epitome of sweet Spring style. Everything from that lovely shade of blue, to the painterly blouse to her shiny golden locks has me dreaming of cotton candy and care bears! One look at the cute model/actress in this Prabal Gurung, and I’m positively smitten!

January Jones in YSL

Even the best fashion houses can make mistakes.  No offense, YSL, but wtf?!  January, did you just convert to Orthodox Judaism?  This dress reads mother of the bar mitzvah boy. Don’t think she could look worse if she tried.

Kim Kardashian

Another disaster, but this one is far less shocking.  In fact, isn’t this what we really expect from ever so humble (sense the sarcasm) Kim Kardashian?  I don’t know who she thinks she is in this dress… Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell?  I mean let’s get real here-I’m all for flaunting your curves and being proud to not just be another Hollywood stick figure, but THIS sure as the ain’t the way to go, Kimmy.  The curve hugging stripes add, oh about 30 lbs to her already well endowed frame.  I’m guessing as she was getting dressed her team of pamperers and entourage felt the need to kiss some big K ass and were all “Oh Kim you look so hot!  No, of course you don’t look sleazy and positively ridiculous!”

Brooklyn Decker in Theysken's Theory Slip Dress, Isabel Marant Blazer, and Christian Loubitons

Supermodel Brooklyn Decker can’t help but smile in this Isabel Marant jacket, but who can blame the girl?!  What an awesome statement piece that will last a lifetime.  Granted it’s pretty bold and definitely not for the everyday hum drum proper girl, who wants to blend in?  All I know is if I had this sweet jacket, I’d wear it feeling like a rock star!  Brooklyn was smart to pair it with a simple white slip dress and let the focus stay on that show stopper of a jacket.  The clear and red cap-toed Loubitons add the perfect dash of sex appeal.  Props to Brooklyn!  Can’t wait to see what she has in store for more Spring fashion!

Kim Kardashian

No comparison!  Both dresses worn by Kim K this week were black and white with stripes,but oh boy, they couldn’t have been more different.  This is so much better, not to mention appropriate.  The silhouette is perfect for Kim’s curvy figure, showing them off beautifully and ladylike, rather than frankly quite whorish, and 3 sizes too small looking.  She shows that she doesn’t have to bare all in a low cut, cleavage flashing neckline and actually is capable of going with something tasteful and flattering.  Much, much better Kim!

So my first guess was that this is a pic of D.J. Tanner.  Then I remembered this is the real world, and not 1989.  Then I realized it’s Fergie, and feel the need to throw her a towel, just so she has something to cover herself up with.  There is no excuse for this joke of an outfit.  I think I may see where she was trying to go, (badass girl/tomboy cute) but she sure as hell didn’t get there. There’s just no way around it, the outfit is plain and ugly.  I do have faith she’ll do better next time, but sorry Fergie, there’s no redeeming this mess.

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